my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
