it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
