I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
