Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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