How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
do nipples grow back?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
