Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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