Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
