carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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