Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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