it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
