Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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