OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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