): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
