I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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