come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
