Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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