I can tuck mytits in my pants
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
