And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
