I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
