If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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