If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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