Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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