there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
