Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
