I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
