someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
