IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
