I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
