How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Of course I have a pirate flag
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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