Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
