she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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