i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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