I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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