So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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