I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
