hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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