She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
