im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
