When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
