I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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