then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i love accidental penises.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
