So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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