you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
