the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
