Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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