Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
