Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize