Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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