A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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