your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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