Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My pussy is not your playground.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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