i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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