She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
