bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize