yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
