i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
