Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Two words: blizzard sex
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
