We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i drank out of a bidet.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
