drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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