So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
