I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
