i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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